barbosa2007 | Arashi ni Shiyagare - Ito Terry appearance (Reply)

I was so tickled by last week’s episode of AnS, I decided to translate bits of it. I really think the show has improved in terms of pacing, content and guesting from its first episode.

Opening talk:

Sho: Have you noticed? We’re all in jackets today.

Nino: That’s right.

Sho: I mean, the guest is probably someone whom we have to dress up properly to meet right? Someone who’s like an emcee?

Audience: [sounds of approval]

Sho: We have to be presentable before him.

Jun: Murao-san? [Note: a newscaster on News Zero, essentially a senior in the program.]

Sho: Murao-san?!

Jun: It’s possible, right? Since this is Eco-week.

Sho: That’s true!

Audience: Eh~

Aiba: Are you close to Murao-san, Sho-chan?

Sho: Yeah, we’re on good terms. The charming point about Murao-san is whenever we have end of year parties or farewell parties for the staff, the Japanese wine which he definitely orders is the Murao-shochu. [Shochu: Japanese wine]

Everyone: [laughs]

Nino: I mean, that’s fine! Let’s not be hung up on that.

Jun: Is that a gag or something?

Sho: And introducing our Big Brother guest for today!

Jun: Who could it be?

[Terry Ito enters]

Jun: That is bad, bad, bad!

Terry: I’m here, here, here!

Jun: Bad, bad, bad!

Sho: Our Big Brother guest today is Terry Ito-san! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu! This is the first time you’ve made such an appearance, right?

Terry: That’s right.

Sho: We met during the year end Kohaku celebrations, and also came to appear on your programs.

Terry: That’s true. The other day, Matsujun made a guest appearance on Sukkiri, and he asked me if I could appear on this show. But I couldn’t very well tell him that I was coming, right?

Sho: You mean your appearance was already confirmed?

Terry: It was!

Jun: Oh it was! Oh I see! And then I told Terry-san, please come as a guest to our show, and we would love to do stuff that he did on his previous variety programs. After having said that, Terry-san told me that firstly he will bomb his house! [laughs]

Terry: Today, you know, we’re gonna do it!

Aiba: What? You mean we’re going to make something explode? Explosions?

Terry: We’re going to do the bazooka! Everyone please look forward to it!

Jun: No, I don’t wanna be blown away~ I hate this~ [insert some Jun-style sulking]

Terry: Today marks the last episode [of Arashi ni Shiyagare].

Sho: That’s too fast! [Since it’s only the 6^th episode]

During the Big Brother gossip talk:

Sho: How much TV do you watch?

Terry: About 2 hours [a day].

Sho: And you record the shows and watch them, right?

Jun: Has there been a recent variety show which you thought was interesting?

Terry: [pause] Wouldn’t that be Arashi ni Shiyagare?

Everyone: [laughs]

Sho: That’s [Terry’s] seal of approval.

Terry: When you watch Arashi’s programs, it’s like going to Disneyland. [asks the audience] Don’t you feel the same way?

Audience: We do, we do!

Terry: You do, right?

Sho: I’m pretty sure they don’t! [incredulous tone]

Everyone: [laughs]

Terry: You do!

Sho: I don’t think so!

Jun: What do you mean by that?

Terry: I mean, if you ever meet Arashi, you feel happy, right? So whenever you watch an Arashi program, even if you had bad things happen to you, you’ll feel better, right?

Everyone: Oooh…

Jun: That makes me happy.

Terry: And that’s why the five of you are a miraculous five.

Sho: I wonder who would be the Big Thunder Mountain?

Terry: [laughs]

Nino: I think that would be Jun-kun.

Sho: That’s right. I think so too.

Jun: Is that okay with you guys? I’ll give you [Ohno] Space mountain then.

Nino: Space Mountain?

Sho: Shouldn’t Ohno be “It’s A Small World”?

Nino: I would definitely go there.

Sho: Aiba-kun has GOT to be the Jungle Cruise.

Aiba: Why the Jungle Cruise?

Sho: Nino has got to be that, I think.

Aiba: The Haunted Mansion, right? He has a tricky feeling to him.

Nino: Sho-san would be the Pirates of the Caribbean. He would be tied and turning about like this.

Sho: And popping out of the barrel, right?

During the Big Brother’s life lessons:

Narrator: The set revolves and the museum of TV programs is revealed! Wow! And there we find the props used in variety programs that we’re used to seeing!

[Degawa Tetsuro appears sitting in a chair amidst the props.]

Nino: Eh, Terry-san! Is that a PROP too?

Jun: That’s part of the film set, right?
Terry: And a rather poor quality prop too.
Jun: It is a prop that we’ve seen quite often.
Nino: Excuse me, but while everyone has been fixated on [Degawa], only Riida is saying, “That’s the first time I’ve seen such an alligator~!”
Terry: Today’s alligator is especially ferocious!
Audience: Eh~
Terry: This causes my spirit as a producer to burn intensely! My tension is really raised right now!
Kawamoto: Say, Terry-san, what will you have the members of Arashi do with the alligator here?

Terry: I would like to have them sleep beside the alligator.

Kawamoto: There’s a great candidate for that. [camera pans in to Degawa, who’s looking completely turned off.]

Terry: Well, there is a great candidate for that…

Kawamoto: His eyes are burning right now~

Terry: Well today, we’ll have you brush the alligator’s teeth.

[members of Arashi gawk in horror.]

Terry: Ah!

Jun: Crap, our eyes met. Our eyes met…

Terry: [smacks Jun on the shoulder.]

[Translator’s note: He’s probably one of the few people who can get away with smacking Matsujun.]

Jun: Is this for REAL~?!

Kawamoto: Look, this alligator’s a big fan of yours. Wanna pass a letter to [Matsujun]?

Jun: Say, can this alligator come out [of the glass box]? It can’t come out right, seriously?

Terry: Shall you start brushing from there?

Aiba: Doesn’t the alligator look rather excited?

Terry: It looks pretty excited! It looks like it could come out of the container! Go for it, go for it! Gently now!

Jun: Oi~!

Alligator: Shhhhh [makes hissing noises]

Jun: The alligator’s saying “Shhhh!” It’s making hissing noises! The alligator is hissing!

Terry: No it’s not. It’s saying “Jun.”

Jun: No it’s not. It is definitely not saying that.

Terry: The alligator is saying, “Jun, Jun. I like Jun.”

Alligator: Shhhhhhh [makes that creepy hissing sound again]

Jun: You can hear that right? Aren’t you just running away?! You’re running away!

Terry: I’ve never heard that before in my life!

Terry: Next, we’ll go with the elastic rubber strip.

Aiba: I think that it looks pretty painful. That’s scary.

Terry: [places the rubber strip into Kawamoto’s mouth] We’re going with a special version today. We’ll play “Raise the Red Flag, Raise the White Flag!” If he makes a mistake, I’ll let go of the rubber strip.

[Does a demonstration]

Terry: We’ll have the members of Arashi do it for us!

Kawamoto: It makes you really nervous!

Nino: Shall we use Janken to decide who gets to do it?

Terry: Oh, Janken? By the way, two people have to do this.

Jun: I see.

Terry: The both of them will be holding the strip in their mouth and playing the Red Flag/White Flag game at the same time.

Nino: I see, I see.

[The boys play Rock, Paper, Scissors, and Ohno and Matsujun are gonna play the Flags.]

Jun: Oi~ [looks really nervous and excited] Oi…

Terry: You guys understand the rules, right? The loser must not release the rubber strip. The winner may release the strip.

[The boys bite onto the rubber strip.]

Terry: Step away from each other! Each of you take two steps back! Alright!

Kawamoto: Ohno-kun, stand at attention! Don’t bend forward! Stand straight! Jun-kun, this is no good! Stand at attention! Stand at attention!

[Terry goes and smacks Matsujun in the butt in order to get him to stand up straight.]

Kawamoto: Alright we’re gonna start!

Kawamoto: Red flag, rise. White flag, rise. White flag, lower not, red flag, lower not.

Audience: [laughs]

Kawamoto: I’m speeding this up. Red flag, lower. White flag, lower not. Red flag, rise. Red flag, lower not, white flag, lower. White flag, rise. Red flag, rise. Red flag, lower not, red flag rise. White flag lower. Red flag, lower, white flag rise. White flag lower not, red flag, rise not.

Everyone: WHOA~

Sho: This is amazing!

Terry: It makes you darned nervous, doesn’t it?

Kawamoto: Here we go~ [does another round which Jun and Ohno complete perfectly]

Audience: WHOA~ [applause]

Sho: They’re pretty amazing! Their reflexes are great.

Terry: Ohno-kun, when’s your birthday?

[Ohno opens his mouth to reply, and releases the rubber strip, hitting Matsujun in the face.]

Jun: [angrily] OI~!!

Sho: He answered pretty quickly there!

Nino: Once you stop playing, you’ll respond to whoever asks you a question.

Aiba: That can’t be helped!