barbosa2007 | Arashi's Consultation Room for Life's Problems! (1/3)

I came home from school today, only to stumble on the newest corner of HnA. It was intriguing to see Arashi’s perspective on life’s problems (as presented by Ishida Jun’ichi) and the boys really surprised me with their answers! Prizes for guessing who’s ranked first! (and last!)

Nino's pic graces this post because I like how he looks when he's analysing something.

The new corner opens with much fanfare, with the boys decked out in glasses. It’s time for Arashi’s Consultation Office for Your Problems, a segment where the Arashi members act as Aunt Agony for the guest of the day. Nino peers curiously at Yama-chan (of Nankai Candies fame), who looked rather out of place.

Arashi and Yama-chan: Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

Matsushima: We could have gone with just five people~ Of Arashi!

Nino: Excuse me, but what… [points to Yama-chan]

Sho: This is a consultation office, so if you’re not a consultant it’s gonna be troublesome for us!

Yama: I sense ZERO WELCOME from the people here! [The others laugh.] Listen here, I’m really good at consultations!

Nakajima: Do people often come to you for advice?

Yama: They do, and I also majored in psychology in college.

[The audience goes “Eh~”]

Matsushima: Guys from Arashi, people don’t go to you for advice, right?

Jun: No no no… I’ve been asked for advice lots of times. They just come in the masses.

Sho: Put together the five advisors and you have Arashi!

Yama: The way you guys are dressed and seated makes you look like Lawyer Motomura! (A talent and actor who’s also a lawyer.)

Sho: Stop that! That’s strange. We’re not [imitating him].

Yama: Really?

Sho: Although… we do look a little alike…

Nakajima: Alright everyone, please put in your best effort and aim to achieve the Best Answer!

Everyone: Alright!

Nakajima: So, let’s welcome our guest who’ll present us with his problem today, and he is ~ *drumroll*

Yama: Who is it?

Nakajima: Our guest for today is Ishida Jun’ichi!

Matsushima: You don’t look like you have any worries!

Ishida: I do, I do.

Matsushima: Aren’t you on a roll now?

Nino: You look like you’re having the time of your life here…

Jun: Aren’t you at the peak of happiness right now?

Yama: His only problem right now seems to be when he should wear his socks.

[Camera pans to Ishida’s ankles, where there aren’t any socks.]

Nino: He doesn’t have to wear them!

Nakajima: I guess everyone is wondering what his problem is, right?

Sho: As much as I could gather from the news, it’s probably your relationship with your father-in-law, isn’t it?

Ishida: No, that isn’t it. Really, I get along well with my father-in-law. We’re on good terms and we go out for meals together. We’re alright.

Aiba: Then what is it?

Nakajima: So, since his relationship with his father-in-law is going well, what could his problem be? Presenting Ishida-san’s problem: Is it alright for me to get married like this?

Everyone: EHHHH

Aiba: Do you have someone else you like? [Translator’s note: Aiba-kun, TACT. TACT.]

Ishida: No, I don’t!

Jun: Are you having marriage blues?

Ishida: Well, it’s not like that.

Nakajima: I guess everyone is brimming with questions.

Sho: I’m really surprised here.

Nakajima: So why has Ishida-san begun to have doubts about getting married? Firstly, we have something said by a certain person here: You must live in romance.

Aiba: What does this mean?

Ishida: I was told this by Miwa Akihiro-san. “You’re a man who’s destined to live in romance,” she said. “To be in love is romance, but marriage is a reality check. And if I had to choose, you are probably someone who is more suited to live in romance.”

Matsushima: Did she say that to you?

Ishida: Yes.

Matsushima: Well I think she’s right.

Yama: And that would end our corner right here!

Sho: How did you feel upon hearing that?

Ishida: I really agreed with her statement. I thought to myself, “I guess I shouldn’t get married. I’ve failed before as well.” Well, I do want to get married, and I do think I will get married, but is it alright for me to be a “My Home Dad”? [The term is taken to mean Japanese men who have chosen to focus on their families instead of exclusively on their work, taking an active role in bringing up their kids.]

Nakajima: What image do you have of a My Home Dad?

Ishida: I mean, certainly, it would be a man who treasures his family, returns home early and plays around with his kids.

Sho: I do think that you could become someone like that! That’s scary to you, right?

Ishida: Just a bit…

Yama: So it’s the fear of losing your status as a playboy?

Ishida: Well in many… I guess so.

Yama: I totally understand.

Aiba: You will be loved by the family, right?

Jun: And that is good to you, right?

Ishida: I’m fine with that.

Jun: So whilst you think being a My Home Dad is good, there’s this worry about losing the playboy status, right?

Ishida: I mean, there won’t be any other women other than my wife after this, yes? And there’s this saying that I always want to be a man, even when I’m an old man, so…

[Can’t imagine what he’ll be like if he weren’t a playboy.]

Nakajima: There’s this image of you always romancing young women, isn’t it?

Yama: You can’t dump the playboy image, right? Surely, to have you do it would be death to you since the word “playboy” can be equated to Ishida Jun’ichi!

Matsushima: Let’s get this straight, Ishida-san, do you mean to cheat on your wife?

Ishida: Of course I won’t want to!

Matsushima: But you might end up doing it?

Ishida: There might be times where I can’t help myself…

Yama: The only thing I can pray is that your father-in-law does not watch this!

Ishida: Far from being a master, I’m in a labyrinth here…

Yama: Give that man a beer! [Translator’s note: Actually Yama-chan says “Give that man a cushion!” A tradition on game shows you observe sometimes on AnS.]

Nino: This isn’t that type of show. There aren’t any cushions around here!

Matsushima: I mean, if he does cheat, people would go, “That’s his nature, I guess…”

Ishida: No, I don’t cheat. Already… I mean, not “already”…

Nakajima: You don’t cheat. Alright.

Ishida: Simply put, I don’t want to see her look sad.

Everyone: Ah~ [nods of approval]

[Nino punches Yama-chan. Hard.]