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barbosa2007This is sooo funny, I can't stop translating. Argh. I hate it when they put out new segments like that. It's like Mote Arashi! Except that it's more humilitating because Yama-chan is there to potentially own them.
Yama: [looking theatrically pained] In your excitement please do not get violent!
Nino: Sorry, sorry.
Nakajima: And we have another reason here for Ishida-san’s worry.
[Words on screen: “80 a year”]
Nakajima: Ishida-san, could you tell us what this is?
Ishida: Well, including those on romance and relationships, it would be the number of events I appear in within a year.
Matsushima: You mean you appear in up to 80 events a year?!
[Words on screen: Due to his playboy status, there are jobs which he will get.]
Nino: So that means you attend more than one event per week?
Yama: I mean, if there are promotion events for romance movies, he’s definitely there.
Nino: There is that image.
Ishida: I mean, with regards to my persona, the magazines would like to have the latest scoop on what I think. And I feel that that’s a good thing.
Yama: I mean, there’s this really strong image of you being interviewed by reporters on your views on love as a man who’s constantly surrounded by romance.
Ishida: And when I do get married and a reporter asks, “So how’s things been recently?” And I reply, “Oh, I went for a stroll in the park with my kid.” I mean, that doesn’t go over well, right?
Aiba: I see…
Sho: And the reason why you’re invited to 80 events a year is because you’re Ishida Jun’ichi the Playboy.
Ishida: I should think so…
Matsushima: I mean, if he got a million yen for each appearance (approx. USD$10,000), he’s earning 80 million yen a year!
Yama: Would it be alright if I could join you?
Nino: You can’t! You’re only here for consultation!
Nakajima: Let’s summarise what we’ve discussed so far: Firstly, Ishida-san is glad to be married. Secondly, he has issues over whether this should be his way of life. Thirdly, would his marriage affect his work?
Yama: May I ask one last question?
Nakajima: Sure, go ahead.
Yama: So how much do you earn in a single yea—
Nino: Well stop it already!
[ANSWER TIME!]
Nakajima: So, everyone will be typing in their answers into the laptops in front of them. The answers will be anonymous.
Yama: So Ishida-san won’t know who wrote what, basically?
Nakajima: Of course.
Jun: I need some more time for this.
Nino: Wait, hold on…
Yama: Wow, everyone looks really cool typing on their laptops… I mean, I’m the only one who looks like he’s typing from an internet café!
Nakajima: Will the people who have finished please raise their hands.
[Everyone puts their hands up]
Nino: I think there can’t be any answer other than the one I have here.
Yama: I could say the same thing for mine over here. I’ve come up with the perfect answer.
Nakajima: Alright everyone, please, at the signal, send the instant messages from your laptops.
Ishida: Oh! That’s amazing.
Nakajima: Quite a number has come in. What do you think of it?
Ishida: Wow. I want everyone to see this!
Audience: Eh~
Ishida: Whoa, who wrote this?
[The studio is in a slight uproar.]
Yama: I want him to say this about my answer!
Nino: I hope what he’s reading was mine!
Yama: I have a feeling that it’s mine! [points to himself excitedly.]
[Nino whacks Yama-chan for the second time that day.]
Yama: OW!
Nakajima: We’ll have Ishida-san in all seriousness allocate the ranking for the answers. Please wait for a moment while we allow him to do so.
Nino: Everyone’s taking this seriously!
Yama: We’re going all out for it!
Narrator: So who will be the one whose answer will strike a chord in Ishida-san’s heart??
Nakajima: Ishida-san has ranked the answers! Ishida-san, how did you find it?
Ishida: Well, today I’ve heard the thing that I most needed to hear. And [the person’s answer] has taught me what I didn’t know about the situation.
Jun: This is amazing stuff! Isn’t it awesome to hear the words, “TAUGHT me”?
Nakajima: Well frankly speaking, we did have answers which got Ishida-san saying, “Why did he give this answer?”
Jun: Oh, you mean both types of answers exist?
Nakajima: Moving on, we’ll keep the Worst Answer for the last and announce the answer which garnered 5th place! And the 5th place goes to… Consultant Aiba!
[Aiba grabs his head in shame.]
Jun: [pats Aiba’s back comfortingly] Hey come on, you’re not in last place.
Nino: You’re not last!
Yama: Yeah you’re not the worst one.
Nino: You’re not the last, but if I must say, it’s the most embarrassing ranking! [Translator’s note: because Aiba’s name gets announced first.]
Aiba: In any case just put me as the last one!
Nakajima: It’s like you received a certificate of participation. [Translator’s note: Great line, Nakajima-san!]
Aiba: It is like a certificate of participation.
Nakajima: We’ll now view Consultant Aiba’s answer. Here it is:
I think that Ishida-san’s charm lies in the fact that he does the things which he wants to do. And if I look at how Ishida-san is recently, I understand veeery well the thing which he wants to do. Isn’t it to give Riko-san[Ishida’s wife] happiness? Alright, you former playboy!
Nino: I see! [Translator’s note: The king of tactlessness strikes again!] He used the word, “former”!
Sho: But it seems like something he would say.
Ishida: It’s just that the term “former playboy” was rather casual in its tone.
Nakajima: Did you think that the reply reflected the image of its writer?
Ishida: Well, I thought it was Yama-chan…
Yama: [looks incredibly happy] He said you sounded like me!
[Aiba grabs his head in shame for the second time.]
Find the rest here: Part 3
