Arashi's Consultation Room for Life's Problems! (2/3)

[barbosa2007]

This is sooo funny, I can't stop translating. Argh. I hate it when they put out new segments like that. It's like Mote Arashi! Except that it's more humilitating because Yama-chan is there to potentially own them.

Yama: [looking theatrically pained] In your excitement please do not get violent!

 

Nino: Sorry, sorry.

 

Nakajima: And we have another reason here for Ishida-san’s worry.

 

[Words on screen: “80 a year”]

 

Nakajima: Ishida-san, could you tell us what this is?

 

Ishida: Well, including those on romance and relationships, it would be the number of events I appear in within a year.

 

Matsushima: You mean you appear in up to 80 events a year?!

 

[Words on screen: Due to his playboy status, there are jobs which he will get.]

 

Nino: So that means you attend more than one event per week?

 

Yama: I mean, if there are promotion events for romance movies, he’s definitely there.

 

Nino: There is that image.

 

Ishida: I mean, with regards to my persona, the magazines would like to have the latest scoop on what I think. And I feel that that’s a good thing.

 

Yama: I mean, there’s this really strong image of you being interviewed by reporters on your views on love as a man who’s constantly surrounded by romance.

 

Ishida: And when I do get married and a reporter asks, “So how’s things been recently?” And I reply, “Oh, I went for a stroll in the park with my kid.” I mean, that doesn’t go over well, right?

 

Aiba: I see…

 

Sho: And the reason why you’re invited to 80 events a year is because you’re Ishida Jun’ichi the Playboy.

 

Ishida: I should think so…

 

Matsushima:  I mean, if he got a million yen for each appearance (approx. USD$10,000), he’s earning 80 million yen a year!

 

Yama: Would it be alright if I could join you?

 

Nino: You can’t! You’re only here for consultation!

 

Nakajima: Let’s summarise what we’ve discussed so far: Firstly, Ishida-san is glad to be married. Secondly, he has issues over whether this should be his way of life. Thirdly, would his marriage affect his work?

 

Yama: May I ask one last question?

 

Nakajima: Sure, go ahead.

 

Yama: So how much do you earn in a single yea—

 

Nino: Well stop it already!

 

[ANSWER TIME!]

 

Nakajima: So, everyone will be typing in their answers into the laptops in front of them. The answers will be anonymous.

 

Yama: So Ishida-san won’t know who wrote what, basically?

 

Nakajima: Of course.

 

Jun: I need some more time for this.

 

Nino: Wait, hold on…

 

Yama: Wow, everyone looks really cool typing on their laptops… I mean, I’m the only one who looks like he’s typing from an internet café!

 

Nakajima: Will the people who have finished please raise their hands.

 

[Everyone puts their hands up]

 

Nino: I think there can’t be any answer other than the one I have here.

 

Yama: I could say the same thing for mine over here. I’ve come up with the perfect answer.

 

Nakajima: Alright everyone, please, at the signal, send the instant messages from your laptops.

 

Ishida: Oh! That’s amazing.

 

Nakajima: Quite a number has come in. What do you think of it?

 

Ishida: Wow. I want everyone to see this!

 

Audience: Eh~

 

Ishida: Whoa, who wrote this?

 

[The studio is in a slight uproar.]

 

Yama: I want him to say this about my answer!

 

Nino: I hope what he’s reading was mine!

 

Yama: I have a feeling that it’s mine! [points to himself excitedly.]

 

[Nino whacks Yama-chan for the second time that day.]

 

Yama: OW!

 

Nakajima: We’ll have Ishida-san in all seriousness allocate the ranking for the answers. Please wait for a moment while we allow him to do so.

 

Nino: Everyone’s taking this seriously!

 

Yama: We’re going all out for it!

 

Narrator: So who will be the one whose answer will strike a chord in Ishida-san’s heart??

 

Nakajima: Ishida-san has ranked the answers! Ishida-san, how did you find it?

 

Ishida: Well, today I’ve heard the thing that I most needed to hear. And [the person’s answer] has taught me what I didn’t know about the situation.

 

Jun: This is amazing stuff! Isn’t it awesome to hear the words, “TAUGHT me”?

 

Nakajima: Well frankly speaking, we did have answers which got Ishida-san saying, “Why did he give this answer?”

 

Jun: Oh, you mean both types of answers exist?

 

Nakajima: Moving on, we’ll keep the Worst Answer for the last and announce the answer which garnered 5^th place! And the 5^th place goes to… Consultant Aiba!

 

[Aiba grabs his head in shame.]

 

Jun: [pats Aiba’s back comfortingly] Hey come on, you’re not in last place.

 

Nino: You’re not last!

 

Yama: Yeah you’re not the worst one.

 

Nino: You’re not the last, but if I must say, it’s the most embarrassing ranking! [Translator’s note: because Aiba’s name gets announced first.]

 

Aiba: In any case just put me as the last one!

 

Nakajima: It’s like you received a certificate of participation. [Translator’s note: Great line, Nakajima-san!]

 

Aiba: It is like a certificate of participation.

 

Nakajima: We’ll now view Consultant Aiba’s answer. Here it is:

 

I think that Ishida-san’s charm lies in the fact that he does the things which he wants to do. And if I look at how Ishida-san is recently, I understand veeery well the thing which he wants to do. Isn’t it to give Riko-san[Ishida’s wife] happiness? Alright, you former playboy!

 

Nino: I see! [Translator’s note: The king of tactlessness strikes again!] He used the word, “former”!

 

Sho: But it seems like something he would say.

 

Ishida: It’s just that the term “former playboy” was rather casual in its tone.

 

Nakajima: Did you think that the reply reflected the image of its writer?

 

Ishida: Well, I thought it was Yama-chan…

 

Yama: [looks incredibly happy] He said you sounded like me!

 

[Aiba grabs his head in shame for the second time.]

 

Find the rest here: Part 3

Comments

[fastphee.livejournal.com]

hahaah.aibaka moment =)

[barbosa2007.livejournal.com]

fastphee, you're fast!

[freuddreams.livejournal.com]

It's situations like this that make me love Aiba even more. XP

[jodie26.livejournal.com]

lolll, can't wait for the next parts :D
thanks for translating!!

[princessvaw.livejournal.com]

haha...oh aiba! :)

[r34lpr1nc3ss.livejournal.com]

thank you for sharing.

[inay91.livejournal.com]

Aiba's words are really funny!
Thanx a lot 4 translating & sharing it!
Luv ya!

[awa-naj.livejournal.com]

lol...aibaka~XD

[nuraimi.livejournal.com]

thanks for translating...

[footiefan.livejournal.com]

Thanks for translating!
(I'm soo guilty of browsing through the entire thing just to catch Ohno-kun's name. O_O)
Did he even laugh a little bit or something?

Anyway~
Interesting segment, I think.
I didn't know that such a segment existed, until you came with the translations. -_-"
LOL at Nino for whacking that guy!
XD

Still dissapointed that Ohno-kun's still not speaking much.

[yah-senbest.livejournal.com]

if i have ohno as my counselor, i'd be happy just to stare at him XDD
who need answers anyway *shot*

[anya131986.livejournal.com]

thank you so much!

[ys-jnr.livejournal.com]

TQ very much for the translation...
ohhh Aiba, don't feel embarrasse, it quite good ^__*
i'm looking forward for the next 1

[meenutrust.livejournal.com]

thanks for the translation, cant wait to watch it....

[abs-vanness.livejournal.com]

haha...aiba email is funny...nino tsukkomi is working w/ yama...hehe..thanks...

[xxbonbon.livejournal.com]

thanks for sharing!
though i do wish ohno would have said more ><"

[memole18.livejournal.com]

Thank u so much

[heo-sua.livejournal.com]

Haha, poor Aiba-chan. But it seems that he's not really good as an adviser :))